- “That sound you hear? That’s the sound of grades plummeting.”
- “How can you raise your grade? Build yourself a Time Machine, go back in time, and slap the hell out of yourself for not turning in your work.”
- “Writing does not require the use of your mouth.”
- “Focus, young padawan.”
- “When I said ‘Times New Roman 12 point font,’ I did not in fact mean ‘Comic Sans 20 point.'”
- “I am arresting you for crimes against grammar.”
- “You do understand what teacher means, right? I’m not just standing here for fun.”
- “English does not mean reading. There’s more than one skill I must teach you.”
- “Yes, you are writing an essay. Welcome to high school.”
- “… yeeeeah. No.”
Published by Michael R. Johnston
Father of an eighth grader, high school English teacher, writer. Fifty years old and feeling almost every bit of it on some days, and not a bit of it on others.
Based in Sacramento, California, USA
View more posts
I had to print this one out and share it with some of my District Office co-workers. Awesome! My favorite is #2, though #3 is a close runner up.
BTW, where are you guys? I tried contacting Jim via email but never heard back.