I had kind of a meltdown last night. More on that later, but first, let’s do the categories…
Work is work. I just came back from two weeks off for the Winter Holiday Break, and yet I feel like I didn’t get any time off. Kids are both delightful and irritating; some of them are amazing and some of them make me want to quit. So it goes.
I’m taking an online course to revise my Hamlet unit, which will mean that next year I’ll make more money, but that’s about it on the job front.
In early November we put our house up for sale. We got an offer in about a week, and it was a good one, so we took it. We also bought a house, and moved in early December.
We’re finally settled in, and I still sometimes look around and realize “This is my house.” It’s a nicer place than the old one (which was a great house), and best of all we have a pool. So summer will be freaking amazing, but winter is kind of a drag right now, because we can’t really use the yard at all.
I’ve also got a balcony off my bedroom, which is going to be a really nice thing in spring and summer.
What began as a restructuring of the first few chapters is turning into a major rewrite. Some plot elements have been thrown right out, and others have morphed into unfamiliar shapes. But I think it will be a stronger book when I’m done. There’s an agent waiting for the final version; I’m trying to get it ready by the end of this month, but I’m not sure it will work out. We’ll see.
Here’s where that meltdown comes in. Sometimes, I feel like I get so lost in my job, and my family, that I start to lose myself. And when that happens, it adds to my stress levels.
Here’s the problem with that: I have a health issue that, while not dangerous, is exacerbated by stress. And here I am with a stressful job, and a willful ten year old, and I’m feeling pretty much highly stressed out most of the time. I’m very bad about getting what I need, so I tend to lose myself in my various roles, and find I have no time for writing, or doing things I love, unless I end up with the time, but in a messed-up mindspace that doesn’t allow me much creativity.
I’m working on it, but it’s an ongoing process.