Dear Students:
The following are the things I WISH I could say on your essays, but I can’t, because they are 1)mean and 2) not helpful.
- How is it that you’ve gotten through 11 years of education and you still can’t write a coherent sentence?
- You’re a senior. Shouldn’t you have figured out commas by now?
- How can you be so arrogant when you make so many elementary errors?
- What is WRONG with you? What part of you thought that was okay to say in an essay for school?
- I feel like I could understand this sentence if I was drunk, but as I’m not, it makes no sense at all.
- When your professor next year asks who your English teacher was, please lie.
- Why do you hate me?
- I used to believe that most students were basically decent people. Your story has convinced me I was wrong.
- You just crossed one of the “Things nobody has ever seen a student claim before” off my list. That’s not a good thing.
- Your argument reads like a kindergarten fight.